Sarah’s wedding plans took an unexpected turn, and my husband Jim and I had to deal with her alarming entitlement complex. What started off as anticipation for her special day swiftly turned into a lesson in respect and gratitude that neither of us could have predicted.
Okay, folks, I have something to say that needs to be said. We were thrilled for my granddaughter, Sarah, who is soon to get married. Jim, my spouse, and I were ecstatic when she informed us of the news. We immediately began discussing the wedding and brainstorming ways we might contribute to making it unique. But a few days ago, everything was different.
Sarah wrote us a letter that very much broke both of our hearts. I can still clearly recall opening it. There was a $5,000 quote and a note that felt like a kick in the face.
“I want a vacation with my fiancé on my birthday this year,” the message stated. “Cash for it. After giving me cheap, crappy gifts for years, I hope you have enough saved up.”
I’ll give you some history now. Jim and I have consistently made an effort to support Sarah. Although we’re not wealthy, we did our best to help. We’ve given her family jewelry, created her handcrafted quilts, and even assisted with a down payment on her first automobile throughout the years. We also paid for a portion of her education costs.
We’ve always assumed that she valued these things.
Let’s get back to the here and now. Jim and I took a seat at the kitchen table, with the quotation and letter resting between us like a foreboding sign. Anger and hurt made my hands shake.
“Can you believe this?” Holding out the letter, I posed the question. My eyes were pricked with tears. “After everything we’ve done for her?”
Jim’s disappointment was hidden in his face. He remarked, “This is just plain wrong,” in a sorrowful tone. “We’ve given her so much, and this is how she repays us?”
Though I could feel my heart shattering, a resolution was beginning to grow behind the pain. “We cannot let this slide,” I firmly stated. “She needs to understand that her actions have consequences.”
Jim slowly nodded. “You’re accurate. She must acquire respect and thankfulness. But how can we get her to realize that?”
We chose to collect everything Sarah had ever received from us. Although the decision deeply troubled us, we knew it was necessary. We started out in the attic, where we had kept a lot of priceless stuff throughout the years.
Jim softly advised, “Start with the quilts,” and opened a big cedar chest. Inside were the carefully folded quilts that I had spent months creating for Sarah. I stroked the dexterous designs with my fingers, recalling the many hours I had spent on each stitch.
I whispered, “These quilts were made with love,” as I started to cry. “I thought she cherished them.”
Jim put his hand reassuringly on my shoulder. “She might realize their value someday,” he added. We gently folded the quilts together and put them in a big box.
We then proceeded to the guest room that Sarah frequently used. I gave her the heirloom pieces I had given her when I opened the jewelry box on the dresser. Every item had a backstory and a memory associated with it. I removed a lovely necklace made of gold that had belonged to my mother.
“Do you remember when I gave her this?” Jim was asked as I raised the necklace. “She wore it to her high school graduation.”
Jim nodded, a serious look on his face. “I recall. It’s unfortunate that she abandoned it.”
We packaged the jewelry with care, making sure to safeguard each piece with tissue paper. The bracelet from her Sweet Sixteen, the locket she wore to prom, and the earrings she had borrowed for her first job interview were among the things she had forgotten over the years that swiftly filled the box.
We discovered the old bike we had given her for her tenth birthday in the garage. It was in terrific condition, despite being a little rusty. Jim uttered the words, “She loved this bike,” in a nostalgic tone. “She rode it every day after school.”
I remembered the look of excitement on her face when she first saw it, and I smiled regretfully. The bike was pulled out and positioned next to the boxes.
At last, we collected the pictures and keepsakes from vacations and family vacations. Sarah blowing out birthday candles, unwrapping presents on Christmas morning, and laughing at summer barbecues were just a few of the countless moments that were recorded in those photos. Every picture served as a reminder of better times.
Jim looked at me, and his expression showed signs of comprehension. “And the quotation?”
With a nod, Jim grabbed the phone. I began gathering up all the things we had given Sarah over the years while my husband was on the phone to the bank. Painful as it was, it was necessary. I carefully boxed up the antique jewelry, the handcrafted quilts, and other treasures. Though each thing brought back memories of happier times, I ignored them.
We also made the decision to stop providing financial assistance for Sarah’s wedding. I spoke with the wedding coordinator and shared our choice. When I explained the circumstances to her, she was startled but understood.
“We’ve always prided ourselves on being generous,” I said to Jim. “But we refuse to be taken for granted.”
We then sent Sarah one last letter.
To Sarah, please
Your most recent letter deeply offended us. Our love and support for you have always come from our hearts, not from a sense of duty. We cannot overlook the lack of appreciation and respect you demonstrate by your words and deeds. We hope that this challenging experience will encourage you to examine your actions and recognize the value of humility and appreciation. Love is appreciating the ones who look out for you, not about receiving monetary goods. We sincerely hope you accept our choice and seize this chance to advance.
Love always,
Mom and Dad
We wanted her to know that gifts and money weren’t the only things at stake. It had to do with our love for her, our thanks, and our respect for her. We thought that by speaking to her, she might consider the effects of her acts on other people. After that, we traveled to an orphanage and, with sorrowful hearts, gave away all the gifts that looked like worthless trash to Sarah.
The consequences came quickly. The following day, Sarah called us, her voice trembling with rage. She yelled, “How could you do this to me?” “You’re meant to be my lover and my strength! My life and my wedding are being ruined by you!”
Breathing deeply, I tried not to panic. “Yes, Sarah, you are loved. However, love does not entail caving in to every request. Its goal is to make you a better person. You must develop respect and thankfulness.”
She cried out, “You’re cruel!” “I can’t believe you would do this!”
She hung up, and we were left speechless. Even though we knew that what we did would cause suffering, hearing her get so enraged stung. Through the family gossip, we learned over the next few days that Sarah was telling everyone about our “cruel” behavior and how we had “abandoned” her.
Some family members thought we were being too severe and took Sarah’s side. Conversely, some others got in touch to offer their encouragement. “You made the correct decision,” one cousin remarked. “She needed to learn a lesson.”
After giving it some thought, Jim and I are still sticking with our choice. Although the circumstances have been difficult, we think it’s crucial to impart difficult lessons for personal development. We’re hoping Sarah would reconsider her values and attitude in due course. Love is helping loved ones grow into better individuals, not caving in to every whim.
